Note:

This blog is going on indefinite but temporary hiatus for various reasons, some of which involving other projects on which the writer must now focus. The writer will start posting poems once again sometime in the future.

97. It Shouldn't Be a Promise

It never mattered how many

times you could

repeat my name, nor how

many times I came upon hearing, but

it mattered how you

said it, whether I came willingly

or as a promise is kept,

and whether or not

any of this was right.

96. does it matter

you know there are matters to
be discussed, things to
talk about; why
are you pretending them into existence

why does it matter then

95. A Curious Thing, Fate

I’ve never quite been one to

believe in superstitions, least of all

the ones people invent for themselves,

but

the precise way our

lives have wrapped around each other,

led on by a series

of coincidences has made me

consider that

some sort of foreign luck has made it so and

that we’ve been

wishing to some unknown spirits of

our own design, and perhaps

maybe a few

stars

aligned in such a way so

that

we’d tangle into them and into each other.

94. A Failure

what a [funny[ thing this is,

a house that was meant

to burn (as soon) as

built and

            that doesn’t really

            take the blame for its bricks

            and whose

architect signed in the cornerstone

“anonymous”

93. A Mends

We could, you know, take any

chance to make a/mend a

couple passing fancies that we never

stretched out [be]for[e]

            Could you now, could you really

            reconcile yourself with something

            heretofore nonexistent?

{my, the world’s an amazing place}

92. isn't it

you know even the stars in

the sky couldn’t save you now not

even if you asked them

and promised them the entire sum

of your potential

because nothing really is going to

save you now

nothing you can look at or count on

            it’s just you and the empty dark now

            isn’t it

91. Narrative

there are [too] many twistsandturns

for me to be comfortable

            with the direction

            of the narrative that calls itself

            [your/my/our] Life

but if it’s a current I’ll continue to ride along it

and if it’s a force of nature

I’ll make sure the walls of my house are proofed

and if it

            comes to the

                                    conclusion that

                                                            it’ll tear us to

                                                            nothings

shreds aren’t awful,

they’re just pieces of what

used to be whole, and

it’s only because you can’t patch

them together that

anyone cries.

            [We know what they were.]

            [That should make us strong.]

90. A Bad Way to Speak of It

I could talk around the issue and

leave you to figure

out what exactly I meant by

figuring the words that

referenced but did not mean their

subjects, like

a silhouette does not mean

its image.

In fact, that’s what I’ll do, because

if you can’t figure

out what I’m trying to say otherwise,

what’s the point of talking?

89. The Unreal Cannot Trap You

When I realized I didn’t

have to worry about

losing things

any longer, the world became

a freer place and

the sky became truly open

and every step I took

was a real step and not a trudge

towards something

sick and uncertain

because when you lose something

you can choose to make

no longer real,

and if you take that

opportunity,

the clouds that block

the sun, while

not by necessity going away, can

be pretty without

you having to pretend.

88. Nothing Is New

A question that should never

enter your vocabulary:

“Has someone does this before?”

Because yes, obviously.

Everything’s been done before,

you see.

The universe is so old that

originality is the most

laughable

of concepts.

            And that should free you

            to do whatever you can personally imagine.

87. what are names really

look at the names we give to things
and look at how we think
we can define the intangible
with a series of letters and sounds

86. Silent Majority

Can a silent majority really

count if they use their

voices for nothing but

the non-expression of their beliefs and

the implication that

said beliefs are there

or is it a term made up to mean

“non-issues”

from the mouths of no one

85. worries at night

nighttime feelings, oh

they don’t frighten me for with

a thought like you

by my side, you’re a light in

all ways and what

darkness could ever threaten me then

84. The Thing of Silence

Have you ever contemplated what

silence might look like if

heard through the ears of

those who knew nothing

but sound?

Could lack be such an alien

concept for someone

that it couldn’t be fathomed

in opposite to

the concept of too much?

83. Continued Breathing

I’m tired of the lie of breath and how

it doesn’t do anything to

fix anyone’s lives, how its novelty’s

wearing thin and I

would in fact like to stop it

were it not for the fact that

all I know how to do is

breathe

and it’d be a shame

to quit the only thing I’m good at.

82. Withering Things

I guess my thoughts fell

and died before reaching the shores

of your field of vision

and I guess my voice withered before

it got within earshot, close

enough for you to hear them

and I guess everything just sort of

ended and faded when I

tried to place it before you because you

had no need for any of it.

81. Plans

Making plans, it’s like trains arriving

that don’t stop for their

passengers, whose passengers have to

chase down the trains and use

whatever force they

can to open the doors

and slow it down and make it

so that there is even

the remotest chance of them getting on

and not getting run over.

80. here

tea’s not too

hot, maybe a little

lukewarm for

its waiting but you know

there’s always something good

about things when it’s

their time,

their real proper time,

even if it means a tepid spring into meaning.

79. The Lady Sleep

Sleep’s always been a nice one,

never said anything wrong to

me or treated me badly.

She never gave me nightmares when

I wanted sweet dreams

(though she’d often give me

dark, imageless slumber instead)

and she never kicked me with

that shock of falling into

unconsciousness but being

jerked awake by a sense of falling into

nothing

but she just doesn’t talk to me

and though I try to speak to her, she

never replies and

I wonder how she feels about me, really.

78. Hidden

I was sent here to look

around and tell you what the

damage was like,

but as I’m here and staring

at what I was told was

wreckage but looks quite different,

I’m not sure if I

can do my job.

You see, I don’t see any damage

done, so I can’t

evaluate what’s happened to you,

and I think you’re perfectly fine.

77. Not a reunion

hey if you ever see her

again, give her my regards perhaps,

tell her I don’t hate her and

I never hated her in fact,

let her know I’m sorry

if anything was ever wrong

but don’t let her think

I loved her because

I really didn’t

which is why you’ll have to

say it, not me.

76. a battle with

yell words such as

“it can’t be so”

or

“I was expecting something else”

or even

“what now”

:

rest assured the world will

hear your words

but it will not return them

back to you because

words are

only forms of a thing

and they

cannot touch things themselves and

            the bitter injustices

            that form futile syllables in the

            mouths of many

            hate your corporeal lives

            and they laugh when your best

            attempts to fight use weapons that

            can’t even leave the smallest bruise.

75. Verbs and Such

Now [look] who gave you

permission to proceed[s]

who gave you the right

to say anything about

anything at all

and who exactly

mentioned your name when

list[en]ing [to] people who might

have had something

to say in the first place

whose words are in your mouth

and who’s in your words

74. No Proof of Words

Some people idly assume

that words exist

but we know that’s not true, because

if they did

they’d be twisting around

our fingers all the time

and tickling us with promises

and making us feel

as though we had never done

one wrong thing

in our lives.

The world we live in

is not a world that houses

such things,

things that could erase and

blanket past events

and present experience.

73. Having a Cause

There are strokes of

worthwhile work

on this planet, and I am

here to look for them

and shake them ‘til

I see their roots

and plant them into people’s

lives once again.

72. Choices

My choices are good,

But they could have been better.

I guess I’m human.

71. like question marks (?)

why are there points on a

dotted line

why do they all seem to

aim towards you

is there a

            conspiracy

against anyone wanting

normality

in

this

world

.

70. Those on the Earth

There’s a man looking

slightly like the expectations

of an angel, and he looks

up and says, “Looks

like rain in the world today”

and a more mortal equivalent

who could have been his

twin agrees vehemently

but smiles as he does so.

“The righteous have no concept,”

he thinks.

69. sleep

I have these conversations with myself:

            I’m going to go to sleep,

            I’m going to go to sleep

            right now

            I’m going to go to sleep

but then I say to myself

            no i’m going to stay up til 1 am

68. A Home for Lost Things

my regret [in this case] is

the regret of having

pretended there was no such thing as you

and there was

[such a thing as]

emptiness -me-

empty empty person,

me the thing without hope

until I came across

a

thing called you and you were

what filled me

you were what I imagined was

a tiny patch of light

but lights flicker on and off and

they are lights in houses

and your house is empty now and

I’m too/so ashamed

[toadmit] that

I have no fixed address

67. Late and Tired

Semi-emotional tired not drunk

but nearly near it

like they should go to bed

like they should sleep

like he needs a sort of rest that makes

really restful sounds

66. The Land of Whispers

In the land of whispers, there are no such

things as facts; they are all opinions made

truth. In the land of whispers, the quiet

is the only way to test anything, so these

philosophically questionable axioms are

always accepted. In the land of whispers,

there are twelve men who follow the

wrong philosopher.

65. the currents and the reveler

a carousel for kings/maybe

but I’m not interested in

the what-may-be or the

why-it’s-nots

there’s a system of leader-ship(s) in

the works already

and as it may be it takes

into total account(s) the

current and the revelers

it makes me a king to say it

the only trouble is we don’t

yet know if the

thing is plural or if the royal We

will give up on that notion

64. Carry On

There is a figure standing, leaning

on the signpost, arms folded,

with a wide-brimmed hat

that covers most of his

downward-tilted face.

There could be a smile

on the wayward’s features, and

one can almost see

such a suggestion if one looks hard enough.

            It’s the kind of smile that says,

            addressing the whole world,

            “Come on, I know who you are,

            so let’s start.”

            And it’s not a pretense –

            the traveler really does know

            all the things he addresses

            (every last one)

And unexpected as anything,

he tilts his face up and

yes, it is a smile there

it’s a smile that he carries along

as he steps onto the

road, and it’s a smile that

knows everything even though its

bearer doesn’t know what way he’s going.

63. Time Passing

Days are like clocks whose

second hands tick

invisibly and whose minute and

hour hands move loudly

and boldly and incredibly.

62. too, too weary

 how tired is he?

he does not answer

because he doesn’t know the

answer to this question

because “tired”

has become a

state so normal

he cannot even consider it a “state”

61. Terminal Illness

It’s strange and unsettling

and sobering to

hear other people talking

about your past-tense death while

you’re still alive,

especially when the weirdness

is multiplied by everyone you know.

60. Queen of Days

Have you ever heard of the
“Queen of Days”?

They say she rules all of us and

knows numbers well

enough to number seven billion people

and she feeds on life

and she can’t ever be persuaded.

59. How Changes Aren't Meant to Go

Let things fall if they fall and

let them rise if they rise

but never be the one to push things

to edges they

were not meant to reach, and

never be the one who has it said

of them,

“They were the agent of change”.

            No one knows what the phrase

            really means anyway.

58. not into evil

no no not good enough

not an attempt

not [a] kind of something that would

attempt

(temptation[s])

leading ways into evil

trying to reverse it

trying to resist

never succeeding not really

            someone is something

            is enough of a thing

            to put a halt on anyandall.

57. Independence Day

I’m hearing something to

the effect of gunshots and steel

on a canvas of

humanity shouting-demanding-screaming.

I can hear words like
“liberty” and “freedom”

and no one even has to say

“revolution”

and I’m feeling it along

with them only in a way

one could call

“retroactive”

because you know that’s what they fought for

and we’re the thing they’d

keep fighting for if they weren’t

just voices in a history book.

56. for no one

whispering on someone else’s shores

will not get you

very far; you’ll only

end up in a distance that

maybe you built

maybe you destroyed

                        maybe you never even touched

but no loudness and things of solidity

are the things

            you’d have needed

to look at an ocean of a million waves and never touch any

55. It can't be Done

there’s not a thing I could

[do that] would make you feel

like

                        (could?)

you do that?

that’s an attempt I made at

making it

better feeling even well

            like

              well

            like you’d never liked anything before

            could you really?

            could you really

try to do the

reverse onto me

onto myself

[are there even things like that possible?]

54. and this is your life

A large number of useless events shape

the course my everything takes

everything takes time away

uselessly

pointlessly

in vast amounts

            I just wish they’d shaped me differently.

53. Time Lags When You Know You Have It

There was a set amount of

time that I

could waste before

having to

turn the rest over to things

of importance.

The minutes were well-wasted,

but I wish I’d

wasted them better

instead of

fearing their end,

never appreciating them

‘til they were

almost up and only

really getting

the worth of one or two.

52. Refusal to Agree

Our things don’t mix

as liquids mix together

or gases eventually come to

an atomic agreement.

Our bases, as you’ll see,

are very clearly solid

and they chip and break when

they’re pushed beyond the

limits of their forms.

            But in honesty – real perfect honesty –

            what would you expect from

            two daft fools who

            are so blind, they

            can’t even see to

            cut solid things in pieces

            and make jigsaw puzzles

            of two colors?

51. Never Truly Loved

When was the last time

Someone showed care or concern

for the thing called “you”?

50. The Tiniest Things of the World

I stood outside and looked up to the sky

And wondered how the sun could care to shine.

I’d lately thought that I should want to die

And I forgot the world’s views were not mine.

The loathsome clouds that floated overhead

On something like paper-stain of blue –

The gently grating warmth the sunlight shed –

Their arguable virtues on me grew.

These things weren’t quite so awful on their own.

The backdrop of the world was not my strife.

In fact, these things were, taken on their own,

The few redeeming factors of this life.

It’s odd, to think – the glory of a day

And I should wish to make it go away.

49. How Time Passes

Pass a loathsome hour

with time reminding you that

it exists,

that the hour is happening,

that things you’d

rather not do are being done

and then times that hour

by twenty-four, then that by

three-hundred-sixty-five, then

that by something like eighty

well you’ve got your whole

life, a series of hours

that they tortured you to pass.

48. how to ask (for) things

it was so long

ago, series of

            time

that I decided to

die in

            [ a universe ]

                        with

no clear(it)y

where an answer was death

            and to choose a

            question

                        [was?]

            life (?)

47. a bit of a liar in spaces

                        I am in distance.

                        it is simpler than close

                        when breath is not

                        an option.

but it makes

me sometimes

            wonder what

            life

would

            be

if taken as a

                        step-by-step

portrait

of

                        things that can be

            and with

free

and

spaces

            in between the compact lives

46. A Stoic, Rehabilitated

I am of my word, and

my word here is

“empathy”.

It was a promise I made

at some point in

my life and failed

at alternating habits in

consummating itself

but in that

time I have tried –

believe me, I have tried –

and to that end,

I must be credited for

keeping my word.

45. More Like Demanding

Ask and you shall

receive;

ask and I shall give.

            go on.

                        ask me if I will give you what

                        you desperately, achingly need.

“I have nothing to give.”

44. How Places Work

This was the sky I dreamt

under that strangely

enough always had

a dream or two for

me in the end.

This was what I meant when I

told you there

were still places in the world

of which the

world knew not.

And as far as I

can tell, it’s staying there

sky’s not going anywhere.

43. Life Confines

“If you could do what

you wanted – anything – what

would you choose to do?”

I don’t think like that.

I’m too realistic to

try to answer you.

42. Tea

Tea can’t solve

all my problems. It

can only delay

them for a very short time.

There is still a

universe that I must deal

with and do

not want to acknowledge.

There are still

people I have to talk

to and do

not want to think about.

There is still

my life I have to deal

with and do

not want to remember exists.

I do not want to remember that

the world is confusion

and I am a single note in its

cacophony

I do not want to remember that

I am a part of a thing

I hate and that there is not a

way out of it

save death and delusion

            do you hear me and why I do not want to

            see anything beyond this

            tiny field of vision that keeps

            sight itself out-of-sight

            because I do not understand it

            and it does not make sense

            and yet it expects me to

            make sense for it

           

            I do not like the things I am seeing

            I do not like the things I am doing

            I do not like

                                    the

                                    world

I do not want to remember the

fact that there is anything

at all except for my

mind that I am trying to ignore

and my cup of tea.